Call Me Mr. Mugu

I received the following Nigerian 419 spam/scam email around mid-day today. It wins props for unwitting humorousness as well as a bit more creativity than typical and a few fewer grammatical errors than typical for these felonious e-missives from the Dark Continent. Note: "Mugu" in title above refers to the "mark" targeted by these scammers whom refer to their marks as such.

"My names is Major-General Beau Grady of the US Army resident of West Chester Pennsylvania, US. I am currently in Kabul, Afghanistan on a Special Rescue Mission as a top rank delegate.

During an intense search on collapsed buildings for the war victims, beneath one of the Gold Trading Blocks, I discovered a trunk box in which raw cash of $2,900,000.00 USD and pure Afghanistan Gold worth about $1,700,000.00 USD was. No doubt, the original owner must have been killed in the war, and I intend using the money to help war victims around the world. Just assist me in securiing the Gold and cash pending my return. If I can trust you for this task, then reply and get a 30% share of it or delete my confidential email.
Give me a confidential response as quick as possible. I can only be reached my email now, as security is on top gear and any calls out may be tapped and monitored. Waiting for your soonest reply."

Note: I did follow one of his directives: I deleted his "confidential email".