The Wine Club Manager's Credo

One of my brothers by another mother is Mark whom I've known since 5th grade and from whom I've rented the place across his carport since 2009 here in downtown Paso Robles. He works at a top-tier local winery. His smart phone is an iPhone and is particularly important to his career. Something happened this week in regards to it that inspired me to reconfigure the U.S. Marine Corps'  Rifleman's Creed to make it apply to his phone. I had fun doing this and I hope you do reading it.

Wine Club Manager's Creed:

"This is my iPhone. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
My iPhone is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life.

My iPhone, without me, is useless. Without my iPhone, I am useless. I must dial my iPhone true. I must dial more accurately than my coworkers who are trying to take my job. I must out-dial them before they out-dial me. I will...

My iPhone and myself know that what counts in this industry is not the size of our pours, the number of minutes spent on the phone, nor the amount of dank smoke we make in the parking lot after work. We know that it is the wine club member totals that count. We will recruit more...

My iPhone is human, even as I, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its apps. I will ever guard it against the ravages of weather and damage as I will ever guard my legs, my arms, my eyes and my heart against damage. I will keep my iPhone clean and ready. We will become part of each other. We will...

Before God, I swear this creed. My iPhone and myself are the defenders of my winery. We are the masters of our competitors. We are the saviors of my career.

So be it, until victory is my winery's and there is no worthy competition, but high membership levels!