Something Was Wrong

For quite some time, but increasingly severely this quarter I have struggled with mental focus, motivation, ambition, and self-confidence..... I lost my mojo and felt overwhelmed by what I have to do to complete my coursework to graduate from Cal Poly a month from today. I have been often feeling powerless to do anything... especially as it pertains to my senior project at which I am severely behind schedule.

This morning the blinders came off and I recognized that something has been wrong.... I mean spiritually, not merely senioritus and college burn-out (which are also occurring), but also rather something deeper and more profound... and punitive. God has been gently disciplining me by withdrawing the full measure of blessing I have been more accustomed to and the full benefit of my God-given talents and skills. I have been like a ship in the Doldrums with hardly any guiding current of wind and water to motion me forth.... and I have not even recognized it.

This mild cursing has not been the consequence of any exotic or serious sin in the way we commonly rate/rank sins which is not God's perspective on sin anyway. For God any sin is sin no matter how small we might think it. No, I have not been away from God or out of right relationship with him. However, particular ongoing issues in my life I have left unaddressed or inadequately-addressed (like my tithe of time with God each day) or in other cases I've backslid into some things (like resuming arguing politics on Facebook after I had sworn off of that last month at God's insistence). There have been other things, too, but now you get the picture I hope.

God has pushed back on me to get my attention because He loves me and wants me to be close to Him and thus in a healthy relationship with Him which my selfishness, sloth, and stubbornness have hindered in recent months. Me being the knucklehead I am it took me awhile to figure it out. Scripture reveals "For whom the Lord loves he chastens and disciplines each of his children."(Hebrews 12:6) I have accepted the reproof and made things right and today was the most amazing day I have had in longer than I can remember. God is great and I love Him as He loves me!

Quote of the Day - Rosetti

I saw The Economist Tweet this just now and found the comment interesting on multiple levels:

"The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful and has nobody to thank."

~ Dante Gabriel Rossetti - English painter and poet.

An Aurally Sumptuous Sweet Disposition

After not finding much new amazing electronic music of note for a number of months I have hit a new mother lode.... it is Egyptian progressive house DJ Hazem Beltagui. Here he remixed Australian band Temper Trap's "Sweet Disposition" of which the video of the original track can be viewed HERE. I typically prefer a female voice to any vocals in my electronic dance music, but the falsetto of vocalist Dougi Mandagi can be goose bump-inducing sans remix but in Beltaqui's remix it sounds angelic. For those who foolishly believe all Arabs are Muslims or all Muslims are extremists, and thus cannot contribute anything to the collective civilization of the modern world, all I can say is this Arab DJ's sound is the bomb! He is in my view the most exciting DJ I have heard in quite some time and I will be following him closely. Play this track with the sound turned up and give yourself permission to dance even if you must be alone if you are self-conscious. Also, this kind of music being rather essentially nocturnal is best enjoyed after dark in my opinion. The accompanying breathtaking time-lapse videography is a most effective paring with this track. Enjoy!

Shakespeare in Space

While reading Macbeth last night for my Intro to Shakespeare class (English 339) I noticed Macbeth referred to a "dagger of the mind." I immediately recognized it as a title of an episode of the original Star Trek series. This got me to thinking about how many other episodes of the original Star Trek series likewise quoted Sharkespeare verbatum or in paraphrase. Below is my list:

1. "Dagger of the Mind" (Season 1, Episode 9) ~ (Macbeth, Act 2, Scene 1)
2. "Conscience of the King" (Season 1, Episode 13) ~ (Hamlet, Act 2, Scene 2)
3. "By Any Other Name" (Season 2, Episode 22) ~ (Romeo & Juliet, Act 2, Scene 2)
4. "All Our Yesterdays" (Season 3, Episode 23) ~ (Macbeth, Act 5, Scene 5)

 Of course this list only refers to episode titles in the original series and does not address the plethora of Shakespeare references in quotes and plot lines in the original series and the later spin-off series. It is also worth noting that numerous episodes of the original TV series featured names that looked/sounded Shakespearean but were not.

My Top Ten 1980s Music Videos

Here is my list of best/favorite music videos of the 1980s (NOT best song) which was the artistic high point/golden age of music videos as the juvenile demand/request "I want my MTV" was oft heard throughout the land. Some/most of these were commercially successful with the last few on the list being less so but not less artistically inspired.

Michael Jackson's  "Thriller" in 1983.

The Police's "Every Breath You Take" in 1983.


The Eurythmics' "Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)" in 1983.


Tears For Fears' "Everybody Wants To Rule The World" in 1985.


Billy Idol's "Eyes Without A Face" in 1984.


Eddie Grant's "Electric Avenue" in 1982.


A-Ha's "Take On Me" in 1984.


Queen's "Radio Gaga" in 1984.


Alan Parson's Project's "Don't Answer Me" in 1984.


Godley & Creme's "Cry" in 1985.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

Happy Mother's Day, mom! 

You won't read this until a day or more after your day. 

I want you to know I love you more than you can know and I would die for you. 

I want you to know I respect you even if my blunt honesty sometimes come across as suggesting otherwise. 

I want you to know I appreciate you and what you have done for me and what you have been through on my behalf starting with my conception up unto this day. 

I want you to know that it breaks my heart to see the loss you have experienced in your life.

It hurts me when I think about what you have missed out on in life up to this point.

Even all your self-inflicted wounds I can relate to more than you can know. 

We have been through a lot, more than anybody else living knows, and ever will know.

We have lost a lot of things which we cannot ever recoup and yet we are so very rich and blessed.

I want you to know how grateful I am to have you back and don't ever want to lose you again.

It is in my nature and it is one of my current roles to push you to actualize and realize your full potential and not let any grass grow under your feet so please understand that when I seem to be pressing you. 

You are a remarkable person only just now emerging from your chrysalis to become an amazing woman. 

Please keep chopping wood and putting one foot in front of the other every single day of your life.

You have many unexpected and satisfying chapters of the book of your life yet to write.

Your son, 

Kimmer 

Picture of the Day - Swallow Creek Ranch Prom

Vino Vice tried out a new client tonight (Swallow Creek Ranch) and sent me to work the event at this new (to us) venue over at the coast three minutes outside of Cayucos, CA. I was previously unaware until tonight that there even was an event venue in the Cayucos area aside from the Cayucos Vets Hall (which was red-tagged but just over a week ago due to structural problems). Tonight's event was the prom for Coast Union High School in Cambria, CA. The kids were on their best behavior and the event staff and venue owner were a pleasure with which to work. *Note: my camera needs a little interior cleaning and I don't clean up my images on Photoshop so this is how my photo came out, warts and all.
Photo courtesy of Kim Patrick Noyes (all rights reserved).