Friday, April 15, 2011

Random Musings of a Ramblin' Fool XXIV - 41st Birthday Edition!

Today I begin the fifth decade of my life as of about 4:30 AM this past morning. You wonder how do I figure that? The 10's of our years belong to the decade before as in 20 is the last year of our second decade of life and 21 is the first year of our third decade of life. So in that context 40 ended my fourth decade of life and 41 starts the fifth decade of my life.

Anywho, I did nothing special today which is typical for me as I'm not a festive person unless it is forced upon me. Instead I worked all day and made some money as I did yesterday and as I will do tomorrow, Lord willing. I was humbled by all the birthday salutations I received on Facebook and thank those of you reading this whom participated in that.

It seems strange being 41 because the number mentally seems more up there than I can relate to and yet I feel the same physically as I did when I was in my 30's and mentally I feel better than I ever have in my life as I also do spiritually despite the struggles I've had lately in my walk with God in regards to some things that have had power over me in my life.

In spite of that God still loves me and is working on me and progress is being made on all fronts, some of it rather rapid and some of it rather glacially slow and some of it somewhere in between. Call it my learning curve if you will; it's my unique and distinct process of becoming who God put me on this Earth to become.

Back To Church

I have come to realize my drift from God during the 1990's was in no small measure due to my rejecting God's church in favor of my own personal spiritual journey. Such journey's are essential but must needs be in addition to, not in lieu of church attendance and involvement. Consequently, I drifted from God and the changes in me, all of which were negative, were so incremental I could not detect them. I have come back to God over the course of the last year and a half or so although I have learned much from the period I was away from God so all was not a waste during that time period. Just because I'm walking with God again does not make me some goody-goody who wears his religion on his sleeve. In fact, I detest religion AND the wearing of it on the sleeve. In lieu of religiosity one ought to be in a real relationship with God and it must be not worn on the outside but worn on the inside which will result in a reflection on the outside that won't need to be advertised. Not only that, I am still quite human and a Flawed Sinner who daily struggles with Sin and the consequences of it upon my life. That being said, I am very positive and indescribably humbled and grateful to still be here on this Earth living in this presently healthy body and feeling what I feel and knowing what I know now. I will elaborate more upon these things here in the future so stay tuned.

Back To School

I enrolled in classes at Cuesta College (Paso Robles Campus) last Fall taking six units: a 3-unit Geology of California course and a 3-unit American Government course (The Irony of Democracy). I received A's in both classes, ergo, I earned a 4.0 GPA.

This current semester I am enrolled in 8 units of course work: a 3-unit Geo-Hazards course in which I'm getting an A+, a 3-unit History of California course in which I'm getting a solid B to B+, and a 2-unit Standard First Aid & CPR course in which I'm getting an A+. That class will upon passing allow me to be Red Cross certified for CPR and First Aid.

I plan on taking Summer School courses as Cuesta College is offering them after last Summer altogether canceling such classes due to budget cuts.

This coming Fall I plan on taking a double digit load of course work including math and English courses and Spanish and a U.S. history class with my current history teacher who is amazing.

My current career direction seems obvious enough to those whom know me: Emergency Management. I'll keep you posted on my grades, course work and career movements.

Still Single... and NOT Looking

I have not been in a relationship since my last one ended at the end of August, 2009. I have needed the quietude to reflect and grow and focus on my relationship with God and on improving myself and fighting my private battles with my personal struggles.

I have been dirt-poor for a a few years now going back to halfway into my last relationship and am still not imbued with the resources necessary to woo and entertain a young woman. It is worth noting that being poor is incredibly emasculating for we males to a degree most women cannot grasp.

Also, I am limited by the fact I will not get into a relationship with a woman who cannot be a spiritual partner in my walk with God... meaning: I will not get involved with a non-Christian woman... or even a woman who is a self-proclaimed Christian but is not "real". The emotional and domestic and sexual aspects of a relationship are great and are important and obviously I need those things, too. However, those are all secondary to the spiritual dimension which is the foundation upon which all the other elements of a relationship between a man and woman ought necessarily be built and nurtured.

Unfortunately, it seems that not a few gals whom I like as friends are attracted to me which is flattering to me and I'm grateful for the affirmation. However, these are not women to whom I feel attracted. Conversely, the sort of women to whom I feel attracted are either married or aren't in a position to be there for me spiritually at this point which is not to say they won't be later on nor is that to say they would be lousy girlfriends and wives now in the other areas mentioned like emotionally and sexually. But as stated before those things are secondary albeit admittedly important.

As for my previous relationship, it was a starter relationship for both me and my now-ex-girlfriend. It was the first either of us had ever been in and as such it was a learning process. As it turns out we got started too quickly and for the wrong reasons (and NO, NOT THAT reason... we never did that) and we were simply incompatible. It was a close call for both of us as we had discussed marriage quite directly. I do regret our friendship did not survive the breakup for whatever reason despite the breakup itself being harmonious and cordial and the friendship seeming to last several months after the relationship ended. Perhaps someday we will be able to resume our once beautiful friendship which preceded the commencement of our relationship.

Taking Care of Business

I continue to do general labor stuff for several clients and periodically help my friend Dave do shows. I have learned to live incredibly austerely as I never imagined possible which over time will make up for the free-spending days and allow me at some point to pay off a debt to a former friend who helped me out with some money when I first hit the wall financially (thanks K.). I am learning that there is honor in ALL work even when one is shoveling shit. This is in contrast to being on the public dole doing nothing and merely working the system and being supported by other people's hard labor and living on the margins of society by choice. Through my labors and travails I have finally learned the value of a dollar and the value of my labor per unit of time and measure of difficulty after spending most of my life living off of an inheritance.

Cavalry To The Rescue

My Pell Grant application was accepted and I took receipt of it this past Monday and placed it in the bank this past Tuesday. It was only half the maximum due to my taking 6-8 units per semester this school year (2010-2011). This money will immediately go to replacing my 1994 Chevy S-10 pickup that is unable to pass smog and consumes gas like an M1-A1 Abrams tank (gallons per mile). I will get some money from the sale of my pickup to the auto wrecking yard and sell my pickup shell on Craigslist which will help things immeasurably. I will miss not having a pickup which I have found are so very useful and convenient.

However, the mid-2000's Japanese car I'm getting will have much better mileage and be much less expensive to maintain which is what I need at present. I don't do my own shows anymore nor do I travel all over the place anymore but simply drive to and from work and to and from school. My life has a much smaller foot-print now and is infinitely more efficient.

For those of you whom know my attitude about welfare for able-bodied people, this is no contradiction to my value system. The Federal funding I have received in the form of a Pell Grant is money the Federal Government stole from my family when they took $100,000's in inheritance taxes from my grandparent's estate when the last one of them died which was outrageous.

On The Home Front

I'm still living in Paso Robles, CA, having moved to my current address back in Fall 2009. I rent from my childhood friend Mark Wiberg who lives next door in the front house while I rent the rear guest house which is small but perfect for my current needs. We are getting along quite swimmingly. Our unique and distinctive personalities blend perfectly. I get this feeling that at some point we are going to creatively collaborate on something hilarious and nefarious. I'm a great writer (I think) as is he (he thinks... hahaha) as well as he is a stand-up comic. We both are free-thinking intellectuals with a warped sense of humor with a South Park sensibility. Anywho, we are currently building a barbecue pit area for this coming Summer so that maybe we can lure actual female human beings to come and hang out with Mark (hahahaha).

Klau Mine Dave Is Dead

My dear friend Dave Brooks who since the early 1990's was the caretaker of the Klau/Buena Vista Mine complex on behalf of owner Harold Biaggini died of emphysema and a right lung infection last August. Dave was also known to many Central Coast residents as Studebaker Dave. I was blessed with being with Dave in his final days and cursed in finding his body the day following his death at his home. I will write a complete account of these events as well as of Dave's life at some point this year (probably for the one-year anniversary). Dave was 47 at the time.

California Disasters

One of my few passions from the past that has carried over to the present is my California Disasters group on Yahoo Groups. We are now really rolling with a real sense of what we want to be and how we want to do it and we do it well and 1,537 people seem to agree because they are willing members. We provided excellent coverage of the recent Pacific Ocean-wide tsunami event resulting in damage along the California following the 2011 Great Tohoku Earthquake & Tsunami in Japan. The group is updated daily with interesting postings about ongoing incidents and past disasters and future hazards. The membership covers a broad cross-section of professionals and amateurs alike and all are welcome including new members for whom this mention is made.

Eclectic Arcania Is Back!

As you can see this is the eighth consecutive day I have posted a blog here and I have no intention of stopping anytime soon. I needed to take a break from doing this as it was deeply emotionally connected to my experience with my ex-girlfriend and it was necessary as part of my healing process from that experience to take an extended leave of absence from posting here but that is now officially over. I have been informed that Feedblitz is no longer supporting subscriptions to Blogspot so I need to go figure out how to get that fixed so those of you whom wish to subscribe to this blog can do so. When that task is accomplished I shall announce it here.



4 comments:

  1. Happy, Happy, hApPy Birthday dear Kimmie.. It all comes together when it's suppose to... You are strong and work hard at putting things in the right place for your journey in this world.
    I consider you part of my family and I honored to say that. I luv ya friend!! ~Erin

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  2. Thanks, Erin... I love you, too.... more than you can know. I'm honored to say that you are my best friend and part of my family as well. In fact, I think you've replaced my family. ;-p

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  3. Just wanted to let you know I am here and reading...you are moving forward, Kim...this is a good thing. Not always easy, but good.

    Awaiting yournext post.....

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  4. Very good summation of your progress as a human. I especially liked the following:

    "I am learning that there is honor in ALL work even when one is shoveling shit."

    Amen! At one time I worked 3 jobs and had a working scholarship so that I could go to school. You do what you have to do to get from pt A to pt B and by supporting yourself, you bring honor to yourself. I am very proud of you.

    "I will not get involved with a non-Christian woman... or even a woman who is a self-proclaimed Christian but is not "real"."

    Good for you. When your love of God is so central to your life, choosing a mate for life that does not share that same relationship would be foolish.

    "...although I have learned much from the period I was away from God... all was not a waste during that time period."

    What I used to tell students is that in order to defend your faith, you must challenge it. Flannery O' Connor, southern writer extraordinaire, always portrays her characters as having moved so far away from God that at the moment the gift of grace was offered, these characters had two choices before them... and God is always about choice. I moved that far away once, but a miracle brought me back (good story I'll relay sometime). You must know what it is that you don't want in order for you to know what it is that you DO want for your life. Choosing God at that point endears you to Him even more, and God loves you so very much, Kim.

    Here's to looking forward to your blogging about your journey through life and all that touches you. And yes, Kim, take it from a published author...you are a very strong writer and I will do everything in my power to make sure that you are nurtured in this role. I'm always here for you... you are my spiritual brother and sense your life will have great meaning to many others.

    Blessings...

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