Thursday, August 13, 2015

Sorry Rachel Bloom, Kate Berlant Has Stolen My Heart

Just now I watched this short video and I must say that I do believe I am in love with Kate Berlant. It has nothing to do with her entertainment industry income (which she appears to admirably spend on her rock collection which as far as I'm concerned is a plus. RESPECT!) or her sense of humor (which is important but not as important as rocks because I have my priorities straight). As I related in 2012, Rachel Bloom produced a fantastic musical ode to boobies and early-pubescent male curiosity that invoked references to the love of rocks (example lyric: "Wow, amethyst is a type of quartz? For that you can touch my boobies.") which you can view HERE. I must confess that my crush on Ms. Bloom is in jeopardy as Ms. Berlant has stolen my heart. Ms. Berlant, I'll show you mine if you show me your's. I meant my mineral, fossil, and artifact collection, of course! If any of you thought I meant something else, SHAME ON YOU!

*Note to Ms. Berlant: NEVER pay 20 grand for any size Archeulean chopper from Morocco or anywhere! Next time you want to purchase something like that hit me up before you do that. NEVER buy such a specimen anywhere but in Tucson or perhaps Sainte-Marie or Munich (maybe Denver). Some dealers will try to rip you off because you have money and they think you don't know what you are doing. Also, DO NOT buy retail in a store or from a dealer NOT in a wholesale context (that's where Tucson, Sainte-Marie, Munich, and maybe Denver come into play).

No comments:

Post a Comment