Today I Turned 38

Today I turned 38.
More accurately, at about 4 a.m. this morning.
Of course, I slept right through that milestone, something I didn't have the option of doing 38 years ago this morning.
My mother informs me we both were crying. ;-)
She cried for good reason given what she unleashed upon the world that morning in Huntington Memorial Hospital in Pasadena, California those many years ago. ;-p

Seriously though, it's been one hell of a ride replete with thrills and chills and spills.
I sure hope I'm in the process of being a LATE BLOOMER as I have little to show for my time here thus far.

I've spent my entire adulthood casting about trying to find my way.
I feel like I'm finally onto something having had a longer learning curve than most people and yet perhaps having learned far more than most people ever do by 38.
I sure hope that doesn't come across as self-righteous and pompous as I fear it has but I mean that contritely and humbly.

Most folks don't get the privilege of screwing up their life as long as I have after having been given so much by God and having dropped the ball so often and egregiously (God says "to whom much is given much is expected) and still be alive.
I am truly blessed and realize I'm living on borrowed time.
I just hope I haven't used up all of God's GRACE towards me.
I wish to outlive my father who died at age 39 years and almost a month.
More importantly, I wish to finish my course as he failed to do.
However, at least his unfinished course saw him become a husband and a good one as well as a father and a good one and a successful businessman, things I have not yet accomplished.

I certainly am gifted with an outsider's perspective as I never felt like I fit in or was just like everybody else.
No, I'm not segueing into coming out of the closet as I am most assuredly not gay or bisexual or transgender or any of that other stuff.
However, I certainly can relate to how gay folks feel insofarasmuch (that's my own word) as I empathize with the feeling of not fitting in with everybody else even when I appear to be fitting in.

I used to be self-conscious about it but I've come to not only accept it but embrace it and am no comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life.
I've also gotten a better handle on what has happened in my life and have taken responsibility for my failures and shortcomings.

That is not to say that I am the finished product or that I don't dump loads of work to do on myself as I most assuredly do but at least now I have a better handle on what needs doing within me at least from my end.
I'll leave the stuff only God can accomplish in me up to Him and not worry about it.

New Years Resolutions are far less meaningful as the dates we humans begin and end our years are arbitrary points on the calendar.
However, our birth dates are actual anniversaries of one of our biggest moments in our existences.
Therefore, I'm making some birthday resolutions today which I intend to have achieved by the time I reach 39 Lord willing I live that long and actually am successful.

1. I'm going to continue to draw back to God as I've been doing as I drifted away from Him over the course of my adulthood while I cast about.
2. I'm going to continue to run a tighter ship and be more efficient with time and money and other resources as I've been doing over the past year or so.
3. I'm going to eliminate my bad habit of interrupting people when they talk.
4. I'm going to eliminate the F-bomb from my vocabulary except when it is appropriate which it usually is not.
5. I'm going to get down to my fighting weight and get good muscle tone and vascular capacity and I shall accomplish this by continuing to regulate my caloric intake and by exercising regularly.
6. I'm going to improve my nutrition by eating more vegetables and fruit.
7. I'm going to be operating financially in the black and have finalized my working business model which I'm still working out now.
8. I'm going to have two good roommates I'm not annoyed by and have no drama in my household.
9. I'm going to get my teeth whitened.
10. I'm going to go through my grandfathers things including his slides to preserve what is left of our family heritage.
11. I'm going to attend the Tucson Gem & Mineral Show next February.
12. I'm going to get caught up on all my little unfinished projects whose unfinishedness (is that a real word?) is a source of constant annoyance to me.

Anywho, that is a good start I feel and it shall be interesting to see what happens or doesn't.

Oh, by the way, thus far this week I have received no harassment about the movie The 40-Year Old Virgin.

Fini