Overheard - Unrealistic Expectations

I saw this in a comment thread to a post on the Facebook Group The Tasteless Gentlemen.

"Porn gives you unrealistic and unhealthy expectations of how long it takes to get a plumber to get to your house." ~ John Farrell

Texas Tornadoes & Divorces

My friend Dan Chase told me this joke previously, but forgot it until he reminded me of it this morning.

"How are a Texas tornado and a Texas divorce different?"

"Not sure, but in both cases somebody is going to lose a trailer!"

The Two Most-Hated Americans

This joke started on Reddit and is now making its rounds throughout all corners of the internet:

"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are in a plane crash. Who survives? America."

Overheard ~ What Turns 62 This Year?

A wry joke making the rounds in geopolitical circles earlier this year was the question "What turns 62 this year?" Answer: oil (price of a barrel of oil), the Russian ruble (to one U.S. dollar), and Vladimir Putin (on October 7). All of those things ended up happening, too.

Overheard ~ Pour Out The Whitey

Same close friend who gave me THIS last December also came up with this gem tonight:

"Paso Robles area residents protest Ferguson verdict by pouring out 'white' wine." ‪

‪#‎Ferguson‬ ‪#‎neverforget‬ ‪#‎firstworldproblems‬

Overheard ~ Don't Do It!

Tonight I worked wedding security at Avila Beach Golf Resort. An attractive young couple got married there on the main green adjacent to the lagoon and beach behind the San Luis Creek Bridge. During the quietest and most intimate part of the exchanging of the vows somebody from the peanut gallery over on the beach across the lagoon yelled out DON'T DO IT!" which caused the entire wedding party to break into laughter before continuing and completing the ceremony.

Overheard ~ Like Bad Song Writing

 "She eats your heart out Like Jeffrey Dahmer" ~ Overheard on my car radio yesterday.

That line appears in the current Katy Perry song "Dark Horse" featuring rapper Juicy J actually vocalizing the wretched lyric. At the very moment it hit my ears and my brain recognized it had just been said in my hearing I was both surprised and delighted as it was unintentionally funny and further confirms what most of us who are older than Generation Y know to be true, to wit, that American music overall is being degraded and dumbed down over time. I'm hardly a candy-ass or squeamish but I am a writer and that lyric is just plain bad composition on every level. Jeffrey Dahmer should not be mentioned in any artistic endeavor or expression discussing male-female relationships.

Overheard ~ A Couple of 90-somethings

This evening a close friend related to me the following current joke: 

Nelson Mandela died at 95 ~ Paul Walker died at 90.