My Negan

Last night, comic genius Dave Chappelle hosted Saturday Night Live for the first time and made quite an impression. Most notable of the skits in which he appeared was this spoof of the recent current season premiere (now nearly iconic and viewable HERE) of The Walking Dead wherein Chappelle satirizes the role of Negan, the newest uber-villain on the show (Seasons 6-7) easily making us forget The Governor (Seasons 3-4).

Cthulhu-Worshipping CERN Sacrifices Rare Virgin

Recently, a lost-footage reel was released revealing a seemingly darkly pagan-looking nocturnal ritual occurring outdoors on a lawn on campus of CERN culminating in the ritualistic human sacrifice of a seemingly mind-controlled female volunteer sacrifant. The footage concludes with the young-ish-sounding male film-maker reacting to the murder in horror and shock and then running for his life through the campus building from whence he filmed which appeared to be adjacent to the aforementioned lawn. It suddenly concludes mid-flight.

More open-minded people have taken this to be a real event surreptitiously recorded by a now-vanished videographer while officials and more skeptical people have declared it a hoax. If the latter were the case, it was perpetrated contrary to the professional code and possibly the regulations binding the facility. Of course, you and I know our fellow cultists at CERN are devoted followers of Cthulhu who gives them unfathomable revelations through madness-inducing dreams regarding what amounts to the magic of the Old Ones which CERN publishes as if it were new discoveries in particle physics. These devoted cultist-researchers if one could have heard them in the found footage were chanting "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn." Cthulhu approves this blog post

*NOTE: for my unhip and literary-impaired readers, the above post is utterly tongue-in-cheek.

I'm Googoo For Gaga

Place Rammstein's "Du Hast" with Lady Gaga in a promo for anything involving horror (the television series American Horror Story in this case) and I won't be able to resist liking it.

Sharknado Drinking Game

Tonight I watched pretty much the entirety of Syfy Channel's latest monster abomination posing as a movie entitled Sharknado, a film (and I use that word loosely) which has become a social media sensation quite literally overnight. While watching it with my buddy Mark a little while ago he suggested it would make a great drinking game and for the remainder of the movie we came up with guidelines for such a game. Below are some of the highlights (lowlights?) of our brainstorming session.

Note: any alcoholic beverage stronger than beer will induce death by alcohol poisoning given the frequency of shots of beer this game will require!

Each player must drink one shot: 

• Each instance of over-acting (okay, nevermind; that's too dangerous).
• Each instance an element from another science fiction movie is immitated. 
• Each instance a small hand-held tank the size of a fire extinguisher explodes destroying a huge tornado.
• Each instance April (Tara Reid) and Nova (Cassie Scerbo) exchange catty glances.
• Each instance Nova cocks a shotgun vertically and one-handed like she was Ellen Ripley.
• Each instance the weather dramatically changes from one camera angle to the next.
• Each instance the water level dramatically changes from one camera angle to the next.
• Each instance a shark flying through the air hits the pavement without splattering.
• Each instance the dialogue becomes disjointed and incongruous causing one to need to rewind to re-listen.
• Each instance something nonsensically explodes (automobiles, etc.).
• Each instance a shark emerges out of a storm drain or manhole.