This morning I awoke stressed and overwhelmed by this mental-emotional bugaboo of a History 303 research paper due online tomorrow by no later than 5 p.m. PST. Add to that my ongoing spiritual battles and Kim-battles with myself and I found myself not a happy camper. I considered not going to church and just getting to work on the paper. Instead, I exercised my personal agency and Free Will and elected to go. I did this despite my overwhelming feeling of having too much to do in too little time and an instinct to just get to work.
Sitting in church I experienced a strange epiphany-like encounter with God. I don't vividly recall all details of it but I can assure it was NOT merely some charismatic/Pentecostal emotive eruption. I was minding Pastor Steve's excellent sermon but was drifting in and out of deep meditation. At one point there was the following projected onto the big Power Point screen above and behind the pastor: I Peter 5:7. As many of you know that goes "Give all your worries to Him for He cares for you." I recalled and realized on a much deeper level than before that God is sovereign and in control. I let go of my academic worries. I also realized that some things I have been struggling with personally I need to just let go of and give to Him... which I chose at that moment to do and have since done.
It seems that seemingly minor act of faith and obedience (attending church) opened up a portal to somewhere and through it an abundance of grace poured through. I feel refreshed, transformed, reborn, and ready to move forward. I had feared of late that I was stuck in my life. Usually in such situations if you have to ask yourself the question then the answer is already YES. Now, NO, I am no longer stuck. I feel like I'm on the verge of a personal breakthrough on multiple fronts headed into Finals Week at Cal Poly and Christmas vacation to follow. God is good!